Forgiveness

Forgiveness,  is a word that has been on my mind a lot lately.
 The relationships we form throughout our lives can be very different and varied.
Most of the relationships we form in our lives are by choice. There are only a few relationships that we don't get to choose,  those being the Mother who gave birth to us and our Father.
  I was blessed to be born into a family who loved me, and wanted me.
I have two parents whose life goal was to make their children feel loved and safe, and to keep them safe. I chose to form strong relationships with all of my siblings, whom I love very much. And I consider them some of my best friends.
   But I realize that not all children are born into a family like mine.  Not all children are loved, and sadly not all children are wanted.  That is a hard concept for me to understand. First off because I was blessed with an amazing family. And second, because I want soo badly to have more children to love.
  But I have met and formed close relationships with individuals who have never felt that love, or that safety, that a close family brings.
  And that brings me to forgiveness.  How do you become a functioning adult with good people skills and the ability to love and let others love you , and to trust others, when you have no idea what that feels like?  The key, I  have learned, is forgiveness.
  Forgiveness is a big word and it is a big process.  I have learned through experience that forgiveness doesn't happen overnight.  Forgiveness takes a lot of work, that is the reason it is easier to hold a grudge or be angry. Because yes, anger can be exhausting, but forgiveness is worse.
  I have unknowingly held to much anger inside and too many grudges.  And I didn't realize how they effected me till I made the conscious decision to let it go , and forgive.
 Forgiving, is not only healing to us as individuals, but also to those whom we forgive.
We all make mistakes, we are human, we screw up, we have faults and shortcomings, we are sometimes stupid and self centered. We sometimes believe that the world owes us.
  I am glad that in spite of my human tendencies, I can be forgiven, not only by those around me, but by the very God who created me.   I am sure we all look back at our pasts, and the thought that crosses many of our minds is, man was I stupid!.  But thankfully I believe in forgiveness.  I believe in letting past mistakes be past mistakes, looking forward and not behind.
 However  I wish I was as lenient on others as others are on me.
I realize that family is harder to forgive than friends.  I realize that as a sister or daughter, I am way more judgmental than I am as a friend.  I realize that I need to extend a whole lot more forgiveness to those I love most.  Because I know I would hate it if every time I was with family they dredged up every little past mistake I had ever made.   Forgiveness is a choice. And so, I choose to forgive!