So our plans have changed again, and I am so frustrated. Is this ever going to
happen? Are we ever going to have another child? I was starting to get excited,
and I was starting to let myself feel hope, and I was starting to believe, and
now this? Are we not supposed to try? Are we not supposed to have another child?
Sometimes I would love to kneel down and plead with my Heavenly Father to
show me the end result so I can live with the present circumstances! I know at
one point in this long journey I knelt down and angrily told my Heavenly Father
that he better make the end result worth all this pain, cause I had spent my
whole life doing what I was supposed to and I didn't deserve this. But that is
when I was angry and wasn't dealing with this trial as well as I should. But I
have learned, and I look back and realize that my Heavenly Father has given me
life and everything in my life I owe to him! But I still can't help but wonder
what he has in store for me, and wonder, will I ever carry another child? And am
I to the point in my life where I should give up and move on? It still hurts
just typing that, so , no, I am not ready to give up yet, I just hope and pray
that whatever the lord has in store for me I can accept and find peace in.
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